magic happens outside your comfort zone

My math teacher wrote that cliche line on the white board yesterday in a desperate attempt to persuade as
that there is a reason her tests are so incredible difficult. I doubt anyone paid further attention to it. I admit that my first reaction was very indifferent too but then.. For some inexplicable reason that line got stuck in my mind and it came back in my mind every time I felt "outside my comfort zone".

This morning for example, I had my first swimming practice, which is also try outs for the swim team. In the beginning I got so tired I wanted to get out and go home and cry. Honestly, I think I have never felt worst in my life. Swimming is the only sport I like and if I wasn't good enough for the team then I never have any chance of being in any sports team. And then *boom* that line came to me.. I was outside my comfort zone.. way too far from it in fact.

So yeah there is a good motivation to take risks and new challenges. 

I wish you could make me laugh but you can't so bye bye

Since I moved in brussels I have one big problem that haunts my daily life: Good friends.
I really don't mean to brag, but people in greece are much more friendlier than those here. Since I came here I have very often felt lonely and rarely had a lot of fun with my new friends. I have a few girlfriends that I really trust, but even with them I don't the happiness a good friend can make you feel.

Yesterday as I was hanging out with a boy I have recently become really close friends with, I caught myself laughing with almost every other thing we talked about, and I felt very happy. He pointed out that I laugh all the time and I replied "I'm a very happy person i guess". At that instant I doubted myself because for the past year I never considered myself a happy person. He also told me that another friend of his, that I haven't met but I have been chatting with on facebook, thought that I am a very funny and pleasant person. Then I remembered myself with my friends in greece and realized that I actually am I very happy person as long I am with the right people. I realized that I need to spend more time with people capable to make me laugh.

However, I suppose it doesn't mean that the people who tend to make you laugh are those you should trust completely either. Then who am I to trust? Who is worth of everything I have to give to a friend?

And also.. a message to everyone: saying "Hello" or even just smiling is totally free of charge and it will not harm you in any way.  So you might as well say hi to someone who you used to hang out with once in a while. 

Make it stop, I'm getting dizzy

It has been about 2 weeks since school started and I am still in daydream mode. I need to get used to a routine that includes my needs and responsibilities and that it's easy to remember. 

I get home and there are about 50 ideas in my mind consisting of things i would like to do. The majority of them are types of food i want to eat and pictures that I wanna try and paint. Some others include reading about guitar or downloading music and of course, reading my currently favorite book. After a couple of hours of such activities I decide to do homework. This is done while watching tv series or listening to music, so I guess it makes sense that I make so many mistakes on my math homework. However, this year I have decided to be the good student I am meant to be and from now on I challenge myself to study without distractions. 

Anyhow, apart from academics I have decided to take my free time wasting to a whole new level by not wasting it anymore. First of all, I have wanted for a long to time to buy a wii but recently I persuaded myself that video games are a big waste of time, so I will buy a guitar instead and teach myself how to play it. So this weekend I will hopefully, finally, buy my guitar and I have already gotten books about learning to play the guitar. Second of all, I decide to reclaim my academic potential by participating in MUN and speech and debate club. Finally, the third point opens the subcategory of using my time in order to benefit myself directly. I will be spending an hour every tuesday evening in the gym with by friend who wants to lose weight and I will also start taking swimming lessons again, since it is the inly sport I am good at and in order to prepare for the team try outs later in the year. 

Along with exercising I also need to stop eating. Seriously, I eat every available piece of food I find and I never miss a chance to get food. That I a habit I am developing for the first time in my life since I have always been very moderate with the amount of food I eat. Possible reasons for this might be that at the age of 15 I am probably growing and need the food and also that I skip breakfast in the morning. So maybe I'll try to get some breakfast tomorrow, that will be my second challenge. Breakfast. 

Another interesting feeling I am experiencing is that as school days follow one another, I feel that I am kind of losing myself. I meet so many people and sometimes I forget that it is not up to their standards that I am leaving, but up to mine. I find myself seeking acceptance and recognition from people I don't know without stopping for a second to think what I really want. I have realized that the only way to really be alright around others is when you understand yourself. 

I just really want to watch a horror movie right now. I hope my friend can come over on friday so we can watch one together. When I first moved here and didn't have any friends who liked horror movies I tried to watch some by myself. I saw quite a few in fact... but then I realized it is way more fun with friends. 

If any one reads this: What's your favorite horror movie or just movie in general ..? 

school ew.. but i think it's fun

so i haven't posted anything for a while..
School started yesterday and we are in the new high school building which is very small but I find it rather cute... after all we have garage doors in our classes, how cooler can it get?
So far I like the teachers and the new people.. I have nothing to complain about.
it's 11.32 and I'm a little tired . so I think I'll stop here and go to sleep.
Lol, I have written so little.. I need to get back into the habit of blogging more.. perhaps I should
plan an hour during each week to be dedicated for blogging.
Anyways goodnight people :)

nostalgic experience.. amen

Sunday, July 31, 2011 I’m at my grandmas village. No internet in a radius of 200 meters at least. But I just gotta blog today, I’ll post it later.

Today as you noticed is Sunday, and for everyone in this village Sunday means one thing: church. For the past years I have never spent more than a week each time I visited my grandma. When it came to Sunday I would just sleep late and not wake up on time for church. This time however, I decided it would be nice to accompany my grandma to the church for once, just like I would when I was tiny little me –of course back then I had no choice.

Grandma seemed very pleased with my choice and suggested that we go at nine instead of at seven that she usually went. Of course she asked me if I had a dress. (one time I had managed to skip church by only bringing pants with me) Yes I had a decent dress. Or so I thought.

Morning comes. I put a lot of effort in waking up and a lot of mental effort to prevent myself from pretending to sleep. I get dressed and meet my grandma outside the house: ready for church!

This is when the grandma monologue starts.

-Andriana your dress is very short! –It’s the longest I got grandmaaaaa-

-Andriana why did you color your nails so many colors? –Duhh plain pink is boringgg-

-Andrianaaa your bra shows with this dress!!! –Hello??! That’s why I chose my lightest pink bra-

-Andrianaaa this. Andriana thaaaat.

What does it matter anyways? I’m going to church to pray to god and god wouldn’t judge me by my appearance. Am I right?

After a while it switches from Andriana to Jesus. (Jesus said this. Jesus said that.) I have to say, the Jesus version is more fun cause I can at least try to argue. (How the h*** did Jesus say we can’t wear short dresses? They didn’t exist when he lived!!!)

Anyhow, soon, we reached the church and I realized how tiny I must have been last time I had been there. In my memory, the church was a huge building with an enormous playground. Inside there were hundreds of chairs, high ceiling, big chandeliers and gigantic temple. Now what I saw was a normal size church, with a small yard, small chandeliers and a few chairs. The temple however had remained pretty impressive. In fact, it had become golden. I swear it used to be black. Yes, it was black, I learned the story later. In order to hide it from the Turks, like 200 years ago, they painted it black to hide the gold underneath. Recently they remembered to uncover it again. It’s beautiful.

I had always found the service quite boring. Unlike catholic churches, we don’t have neither music nor a choir… It also requires a lot of focus in order to understand what the priest is saying. I was wondering why they don’t make it into moderns Greek. Although way better than Latin, Ancient Greek is still hard to understand. I couldn’t tell when we were supposed to stand up, sit down or do the cross thingy so I just copied the others. I don’t really care though since we only go to church about 5 or 6 times a years.

Towards the end of the mass the fun started. We were standing up and listening to one of Jesus’ adventures when I started feeling a little sick. At first I thought I was just tired but soon the feeling became more familiar. My vision became very blurry and my legs felt weak. Shit, I was getting dizzy and it was the second time it happened this summer. I turn and tell my grandma “I’m dizzy” and try to reach for the exit. How idiotic I must have looked unable to walk straight… Several minutes later I found myself throwing up in the church’s backyard.

Later an on I heard this epic line coming from a church lady: It was Satan who tried to make you leave church and not want to come back!

Maybe it was… although I’m pretty sure my lack of proper nutrition recently had also been involved.

it's not about the guy. it's about the friend.

That's just a preface to another post I want to write about friends.

Breaking up is one thing. Losing a friends is another.
Those two might take the form of one though.
Or would they? What about losing a friend that was never a friend.
What if the feeling of trust and security was a subconscious illusion on both sides?
What if the persons played the roles of friends but never really were?

It's exciting. It's overwhelming. It is therefore misleading.
You don't stop for one moment to think about where those feelings come from.
Then it's over.
And then you get over it.

Joan Jett taught me I got nothing to lose when I lose fake friends.
And you know you deserve a million times better.

<- radnom picture, just cause she looks
 a lot like me. And though the vides
are sad she seems hopeful.

Anyways, this post was
meant to be a lot deeper...
it just didn't turn out deep
cause i felt nothing deep when writing it.
I hate loosing friends. 

back to bloody brussels...

After two months of fun it's time to pay some attention to my blog again.

I've been wanting to post something everyday about the things I did but then I always thought
that what I might find exciting would be boring to everyone else. After all, why should anyone care about
what I do in my everyday life. However there are little things that are always worth sharing and why should I not post them even for the 4 or 5 people who will read my page.

I think I will write about things I did so far in my next few posts. I might mention some conflicts that arose between some of my old friends in Athens. It is interesting how one can see through such situations who their real friends are. I should also like to dedicate a post on some wild or borderline bad things that I did.

Anyhow... because this post will be pointless if I don't write something new or at least interesting, I better
use the opportunity to say something about myself. Lately I have been going through what we could call a rebellious teenage phase... i think.. i don't really know..

Nonetheless I have been feeling very strongly that I wanna change how I look. Even though I recently discovered that I can make my hair curly very easily and it looks really cute, I still want a bigger change on my hair style. (In fact I often get bored of my hair and change it.. three years ago I wanted bangs and two years ago I cut it really short) For the last year it it has been grown longer and is very simple.. ew.
Now I want a fringe on the side.. almost emo-like and I want part of the fringe dyed dark purple. Purple is the only color that would match since my hair is dark red... The thing is, my hair is really hard to stylize and if I get a fringe I'll be spending more time on my hair everyday to make it look good. -.-

Also... I want a piercing. I've been wanting a third piercing on my ears -I have two in each already- for a long time, but I have been told that it really hurts on the place where I want it. My grandma always said "To beauty, what is pain?" meaning that it's worth the pain to be prettier... but I don't always agree with her. So, lately a friend told me it doesn't hurt a lot on the lips. !!! !!! !!! hmmm very tempting .. but isn't it kinda disgusting? She said she had it for a short time...then she removed it and the whole closed up.
Yeah, I want a little gem on the upper right side of my lips but I will probably wait to get my braces off and then announce it to my mum. I hope she lets me. 

Which famous couple throughout history would you like to be part of?

Let me sleep I don't wanna draw...

 I made this in art class today. Using only one mechanical pencil and half asleep. So for me it is quite an achievement since I'm not good in drawing anyways. The frame was given to me... I was inspired I guess. I'm not even sure what the drawing means. Maybe it's a message from god. or satan. or chuck norris. 

remember remember remember

sunday night. math and french exams tomorrow...
I started listening to some greek rap songs that my friends and I used to listen to in 5th grade.
The lyrics are very powerful and deep. It made me want to write about it.
About the past and how it has evolved.
About Greece and how the politicians have stained the pages of our glorious history with their greed for money.

I have so many things to say but when it comes to writing, I don't know what to write.
They come as pictures in my mind. Pictures and every picture is a different memory. Every picture provokes a different emotion. Boom.. Poof.. Blooom! And in the end.. it's all those colors.
Memories function is a peculiar manner. I keep only the good ones, those that made me happy.
However, if I recall them and compare them to reality they only make me sad.

So, as my thoughts about what I write develop as I write, my mood and opinions change as I write.
I will not compare anything to anything.
I will just look forward to going to the roller coasters after the exams.  

It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night like a rich jewel in an Ethiope's ear

The next two pages of my scrapbook, -it's nothing special but I'm very proud of it.

It was raining today

I have added some details in the cover page of my scrapbook. I have also come up with ideas for the next pages but I couldn't do anything today because I was waiting for the glitter to dry.

I feel bad because I haven't paid much attention to my blog recently.. and I promise will make up for it!
After some encouragement from a friend I have decided to finally write a story I've wanted to write for a long time. And of course I will post it here :)
And here's the challenge: I have to somehow mention dragons in it ^.^



Oh well, exams start tomorrow
so I will be busy for a while :)

And then summer vacations for the win!!!

My attempt to start a scrapbook

So i decided to engage in the hobby of scrap-booking. It seems like fun. The thing is, I'm still not sure what it really means. My friend told me I'm supposed to put pictures together and decorate it with stickers and different textures. I hope that qualifies for a cover page, though I'm not finished with it yet. I'll add a gothic black pattern on the edges and use some glitter on the pictures.


ohh oops! I've given away my name >.<

;)

Someone I admire

     There is a person I have met this year that I really admire. She is someone that no one would notice or pay attention to. The reason I admire her is not because she has done anything great in her life nor because she has fought for this world to become a better place. However, life has put her in difficult situations and she has always remained strong and determined. By her devotion she becomes an example that could inspire others; in that manner, she does contribute to the world.
     In fact, I do not know that woman very well. All I know is that she is a girl from a poor family from Shri Lanka. She migrated in the countryside of Greece seeking a better life and quickly, all by herself, learned the language, the customs and the cuisine of our country. She found jobs and made money on her own; she was even updated on the politics.
    Unfortunately, from a relationship -for which I don't know any details- she ended up with a baby while her partner left her. Her baby boy has a mental problem. He is now 3 years old and still looks and acts like a 1 year old. Because in Greece there is no institution to take care of children with that particular issue, she has moved in Belgium with her son.
   Everyday, from morning until night, she takes her son with her and cleans houses for money. She comes to our house every friday. I see her place the baby on the sofa, make sure he is comfy and distracted with music or toys and she starts working. She works very hard.
    However that is not why I admire her so much. I admire her for her devotion to her son. She is dedicating all her time and energy to her baby, which makes her life particularly hard, and she never complains about it. It is very touching to see her playing with him, trying to make him smile and wave "hii". Today as they were leaving she asked him to say "bye" but he wouldn't understand. "He will say it, but later," she made a humorous remark, "It's like the internet, sometimes it takes more time." I was quite surprised at how positively she took everything.
    Soon he will a get special device for his legs so that he can finally walk but my mother said that he wont live very long because he isn't growing. His mother said she will not stop caring for him as long as he lives. Every time I see her she is smiling.
     

Can't smile, can't laugh, can't shout...

-awes at her ability to create a dramatic title-

     Apart from a series of horrible events that happened to me today, the real reason for the title is
because my orthodontist made me wear elastics on my braces. Elastics are tiny white rubber bands that you have to put zig-zag on the left and right sides of your mouth on the braces in order to make your mouth close properly -I think. But in fact, they just unable you from speaking clearly cause you can only open your mouth for half a centimeter. >.<
    Trying to see the positive side of these horrible little rubbers I realized that it's an awesome excuse for being myself. It is an excuse not to smile all the time, not to laugh at things that aren't worth laughing at and to speak quietly. I love speaking quietly or even not speaking at all, it seems so much more relaxing and peaceful.
      I remember when I was in kindergarden and I was terrified of all the other kids because they kept screaming all the time. Then I would just start crying and step out of the classroom. I could sit for hours alone in the corridors just to avoid being in that room full of screaming children. Reading my description now brings a sad image of me in my mind but in fact I was quite happy then. I wish I could do the same thing now. I wish I could just walk out of the class and just sit alone in the corridors without getting in trouble. Yes, I would be a weirdo if I did that... but oh well indifference can be useful sometimes.

  

Ignorance or indefference ?

     As my mum was driving us home from the movie store, a flashback from a comic book came to my mind through a bizarre series of thoughts that I was developing for no apparent reason other than to keep busy but as a result to make me depressed. -run-on sentence right there- I thought of a quote I'de found very remarkable in a philosophical but humorous comic book by graphic novel author from my magnificent country. So in the comic book there are two cats and given the literary device of personification, they can speak. The first one is a very intellectual and sophisticated type who cares about subjects such as poetry and world salvation, to the contrary the second cat is the "I don't give a fuck about anything" type. So one day the first cat asks the second cat, "Do you act like this because of ignorance or because of indifference?" and the second one answers, "I don't know and I don't care!!!"
     Why am I randomly mentioning this now? Well given the quote I started wondering why people in my school act the way they act? Why does my ex act as if he doesn't care about anything, although I know he is a considerate person? Why do I walk the corridors with the motto "I don't give a fuck" in my mind while I am neither ignorant nor indifferent? What do you think?

Hello World

-music: on- Alright! Let's do this!

      Hello world, I believe I ought to give you a real introduction about me and about what this blog is going to be about. (Not that I have exactly decided on the topic) I must apologize if you find the previous post a bit vague; my friend and I might have been high. -JK! we were just very hyper. Anyways, basically I started this blog hoping I will for once be able to write down my feelings and be able to see the world more clearly and from a humorous point of view. Since I was little I have many times tried to keep a diary and always gave up after a while, so perhaps if I see people corresponding to this blog I'll keep it up this time. Therefore, yes, you got it right, I'll be blogging about my life but also about whatever I find interesting in the world. Also, I will probably be relating everything to some sort of philosophical theme.
     In order to for my future stories to make sense, I need to explain my life situation right now and a bit of my past. Hmm, that is going to be difficult. Currently, my life is basically a mess; there are so many things going on and my feelings are a blur. School, exams, prom, friends, real friends, fake friends, ex-boyfriend, current boyfriend, family. *Sighs* I just can't wait for the school year to be over and leave for the summer. My past, yes, before I moved in this country my life was perfectly balanced and I was a very happy little teenage girl.
-what? okok...- I'm sorry, I need to go now. Going shopping for a prom dress! I shall be back to finish writing this later.

Forward!!!!!!! ..*trips and falls on face*

Alright! This is the first post!
Dear bloggers.. I do not know how to start this nor can I spell!
so I am just quoting my friend here :) Who will create her own blog in like 5 minutes!
Excuse me I must go blow my nose. -she wrote that not meee-
So if u read my profile.. Im a girl living in the middle of nowhere...
And dear people you are welcome to follow this awesome blog!

Oh, she insists that I give you more info about me. (note: I love you, spell check)
So yeah, I listen to music... and I watch movies!!!
I'm a huuuuuuuuge fan of SCORPIONS! Awesomest band ever! I love you!
and I watch all types of movies except gangster movies... >.>
I love Pirates of the Caribbean and Johnny Depp <3

-Good now?
-Can't you add any pictures?
-Fiiiiiiine!!!



There you go :)
<-- He is very hot.